night weaning: whats really going on

i am having a lot of trouble:

the manny is sabotaging my night weaning efforts. he offers to put the B down only to get impatient, try to "force" him to sleep before he is ready, gets him all upset, starts fights with me over an upset baby and leaves me to deal with the mess i am talking about this happening four times in the last two weeks and it is very upsetting.

very upsetting indeed. the kind of upsetting that left me bawling on my neighbors doorstep this morning, confused with destructive and depressive thoughts. basically torn apart with dissappointment, contempt, and a feeling of being trapped.

we have been in counseling the last two weeks to get some new tools to deal with the problems we are having, and have not gotten any help there.

yesterday we finally decided that despite the manny's interest in being an "involved dad", it was in everyone's best interests if he stops putting the boy down. it was actually a relief to know that tonight would be different than the last two weeks b/c the manny couldn't fuck it up again. even worse, he couldn't use our innocent baby as a tool to mess with me anymore.

wha'd he do? intentionally wake me and the boy up as he went to bed, the fucker.


Kristal said...
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The Queen Mama said...

Good luck with this. Sleep and feeding issues suck.

Michelle said...

This must be really hard. I am not looking forward to weaning. I think I am going to just let my son wean when he is ready. I hope that whatever is going on with your husband gets better. Having a child is very stressful. My only advice would be to talk to him about it. I know that when I feel overwhelmed with my motherly and "wifely" responsibilities, I need my husband's help. It isn't always easy to get his help the way that I want it, but if you can take the time to explain to him, step by step, what you need him to do, that might help. It helped my hubby, at least. Good luck!!

ninepounddictator said...

You know what?
I have a good relationship with my guy - but i find that even he gets really impatient when it comes to putting our daughter down to sleep.

Also, when we were trying to get her to sleep through the night, I couldn't deal. I always, always went to her. While he could have easily let her cry for hours - so she could learn.

She still doesn't sleep through the night. I'm a wuss!

I think a lot of relationships after you have a baby go sour - if not just for a little while.

I think it all comes down to sleep deprevation...

I hope you feel better soon!!!